Was blind, but now I see.

5 : 2 February 2006




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Copyright for the journal © 2005
M. S. Thirumalai

Angie Montag



As we each embark into this New Year, I want to share a few things that are on my heart for all of us as we prepare for the real Return of the King! I am guessing many of you have seen the movie Narnia. When Aslan had returned to the land, it was clear to everyone that winter was coming to an end. They were anticipating Christmas and springtime once again.

The return of Jesus is drawing so close-the signs of the times are everywhere-confirmed in the word of God & in our land.

Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away. For lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth; the time of singing has come, Song of Songs 2:10-12. The Hebrew word for winter means to hide. Winter seasons in our lives may include hiddenness (where we don't sense His presence-though, He never leaves us), darkness, trials, misunderstanding, death of dreams and visions, or emptiness.



Winter seasons are used by God in our lives to help us develop our own personal history in God's faithfulness. These seasons cause our root systems to be strengthened in truth and love as we persevere. There is hope for all who have been walking through a dark valley of trouble-of whatever kind.

His Bride has made herself ready. Rev. 19:7b

It was not by their sword that they won the land, nor did their arm bring them victory; it was your right hand, your arm, and the light of your face, for you loved them. Psalm 44:3

Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls. Isaiah 58:12

And so we know and believe (put faith in & rely on) the love God cherishes for us. I John 4:16

For (insert your name)'s sake I will not keep silent, and for (insert your name)'s sake I will not rest, until her righteousness goes forth as brightness, and her salvation as a lamp that burns. Isaiah 62:1


I want to set before our family a charge for the new year. I am thankful for the family God placed me in! I'm not only referring to my flesh and blood family, but also each of you!

A charge, according to the Random House Dictionary is, a signal by bugle for a military charge, and an impetuous onset or attack, as of soldiers. When one of us wins, falls, suffers, or rejoices-we all do! I am convinced more than ever of how greatly we need each other. There is safety as we journey forward together, all the more as the Day of His coming is approaching (Heb. 10:25). When He returns for us, we will stand as ONE. We are here together to cheer each other on in the grace of God, not only for eternity but also, as we live our lives here on earth.



On June 6, 1944, a date known ever since as D-Day, a mighty armada crossed a narrow strip of sea from England to Normandy, France, and cracked the Nazi grip on western Europe. Winston Churchhill said this was, the most difficult and complicated operation ever to take place. It was the day of the 20th century. It was the day of the beginning of the end of Adolf Hitler's Nazi terror that had gripped the people of Europe for 11 long years. Allied troops moved inward after D-day, liberating all the French towns from their German occupiers. Once Eisenhower's army secured their lodgement, the fate of the German army was sealed. Land that was occupied and conquered by the Nazi's was taken back for freedom. It was only less than a year after D-Day that Hitler and his entire regime fell. (Voices of Valor: D-Day June 6, 1944 by Douglas Brinkley and Ronald J. Drez).



It is time- the battle is waging! The charge I set before us is to reclaim "Operation Overlord." We have a vicious and cruel enemy set with raging vengeance to steal, kill, and destroy from each one of us (John 10:10). We also have a jealous Bridegroom who will not relent until He has our hearts. He will share us with no other (Prov. 6:34).


We each have received a delightful inheritance as a gift from the Lord (Ps. 16:6). What Hitler did during WWII, by invading land that was not his-our enemy has done, by invading land that is not his. What the allied forces did on the beaches of Normandy is what the Lord is calling us to arise and do in this hour-together as one. Hitler needed to be kicked out of the land that did not belong to him. The enemy needs to be kicked out of land that does not belong to him. The land I am referring to is our hearts-my heart, your heart, the old, the young, and the yet unborn. It is time to take back what the enemy has stolen from us!

Jesus died for wholehearted love. His anger rages against our enemies, not against us! Think of this: When 1/3 of the angels fell, God did nothing. When one man fell, God sent His son who willingly went to the cross-so that He could have our love. The day of the gladness of His heart (the most happy day of His life) is His wedding day because of you and me (Song of Songs 3:11, Rev. 19:7).


At The Wilderness Fellowship over Christmas, I was gazing at an old wooden cross covered with freshly fallen snow. I heard Him say, "Angie, I died for every part of your heart to love me". He wants to remove everything in our hearts that separate us from Him. He desires us to be close to Him. He desires us to see His beauty. He desires us to love Him like the Father does (John 17:24-26).


What are we to do when we encounter our weaknesses, areas of sin, strongholds in our thinking patterns, wounds from the past, pain, lies, and disappointments-all of which separate us from Him, if held onto? One of my tendencies is to hide and cover these areas up. In the relentless pursuit of the One who loves every part of us, He will never give up on us. Even when we are faithless, He remains faithful (2 Timothy 2:13). He never despises our weakness. He looks upon the ruins and places of devastation in our lives with tenderness, compassion, mercy and understanding. He is not against us. The enemy is. He is on our side. He pursues the parts of our hearts that have been in prison, broken, captive, and bound, giving us beauty in exchange for our ashes and calls us up from our graves (Isaiah 61:1-3, Ezekiel 37:12).


Abraham, the father of our faith inherited promises through faith and patience. The same is true for us. Enemies were in the land God promised to Abraham's descendants. The land of Canaan was their inheritance. They had to take what belonged to them in the fierceness of battle. We too have been given land as our inheritance. If we don't claim what is rightfully ours, the enemy surely will. Deut. 7:22, "And the Lord your God will drive out those nations before you little by little; you will be unable to destroy them at once, lest the beasts of the field become too numerous for you."


He is inviting us to come to Him, just as we are (not as we think we should be). When Adam and Eve were hiding in the garden steeped in their shame from their sin, what did God do? He pursued them. He was not mad at them or disappointed in them -He pursued them because He loved them and wanted relationship to be restored. This is His heart for us today. He is asking us to come to Him with these parts of our heart that we deem "unpresentable and blemished." He will forgive us, wash us, cleanse us and redeem us as we turn toward Him. I heard someone once say, grace is the face love wears when it meets imperfection. 1 Peter 4:8 says, Love covers a multitude of sins. We are called to accept one another and point one another to the Truth; not reject, condemn, or judge one another for our areas of struggle.


I love the old hymn written by Charlotte Elliot, Just as I am, "without one plea, but that thy blood was shed for me, and that thou bidd'st me come to Thee, O Lamb of God, I come! I come! Just as I am, and waiting not, to rid my soul of one dark blot, to Thee whose blood can cleanse each spot...Just as I am, Thou wilt receive, wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve; Because Thy promise I believe, O Lamb of God, I come! I come!"

Not only does He desire my heart and your heart free to love Him, He also invites us to partner with Him in His work of setting other hearts free to love Him. I encourage all of us to arise and take what belongs to us-and help others do the same!



On New Year's Eve, I was listening to the Lord for what He may say about the year 2006. I heard Him say that this is the year of the redeemed. Joel 2:25-27 says, So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten...You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, who has dealt wondrously with you; and my people shall never be put to shame. Then you shall know that I am in the midst of Israel: I am the Lord your God and there is no other. My people shall never be put to shame". This promise is ours for the taking! We do the taking by believing what God has said in His word-and standing on it, rather than our experiences!

He is a God of Justice. I want to encourage all of us to not lose heart. A huge lie from the enemy is that we ought to give up. The truth is that there is power in His blood to heal, deliver, cleanse, and redeem every part of our lives! Nothing is too hard for Him.


Oswald Chambers said, Faith must be tested, because it can be turned into a personal possession only through conflict. Faith is unutterable trust in God, trust which never dreams that He will not stand by us. I know that many of us have been waiting for promises for a long time-for healing, deliverance, unsaved family members, freedom from depression, discouragement and lots of other things that have caused great heartache. I want to encourage you to lift your eyes off of all circumstances and up to Jesus- the One who does see you, hear you, know you, and is WITH YOU! He is coming to avenge you. His arm is not too short, that He cannot save. In Luke 18: 1-8, we find the parable of the persistent widow. Verse 8 says, When the Son of Man comes, will He really find faith on the earth? Though he bears long, He will give justice to those who cry out to Him day and night. It is interesting to note the main character in this passage is a widow-poor, weak, needy, and one with no other hope-just like us! Let us cry out to Him together-as one family- and ask Him for justice against the adversary. It is time to arise and kick the enemy out of his unlawful occupancy in the hearts, families, churches, and cities of our world.



As the allied troops stormed the beaches of Normandy, let us join forces and together arise as the End-Time army. I want to point out 3 ways we can gain artillery as we prepare for the return of the King. These are taken from Song of Songs 2:14 when the Shepherd is calling the Shulammite forth from the comfort zone and place of her fears. He wants her to say "yes" & come with Him in obedience so that what separates her from the Shepherd (fear) will be removed from her heart. This is His call to me and you. The winter is over, springtime has come. His return is at hand.


My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountain side - The Hebrew word for "clefts" is "a place to be hidden, a place of refuge". The rock of our refuge is Jesus. Our position is found hidden in Him- what He did on the Cross for us. In the resurrection life of Jesus, we have been given every provision needed. As Brother Lawrence learned to practice His presence, so can we as we call this truth to mind throughout our day: You in me, and I in you-You are with me, loving me. This is our reality!


Let me see your face...your face is lovely-In our weakness, he wants us to look up and out of ourselves and fix our gaze on Him-Who He is, & what He has done. We become like what we gaze upon (2 Cor. 3:18).

C.S. Lewis wrote, On the whole, God's love for us is a much safer subject to think about than our love for Him.

Nobody can always have devout feelings: and even if we could, feelings are not what God principally cares about.

Christian love, whether toward God or man, is an affair of the will. Our feelings come and go, His love for us does not. It is not wearied by our sins or indifference. It is quite relentless in its determination that we shall be cured of those sins, at whatever cost to Him.


Let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet-Shame, despair, accusation, and fear shut down our voice. The enemy tells us a huge lie: God doesn't hear our cries. The truth is: He moves at the sound of our voice!

He wants us to ask, ask, and keep on asking. This can also be done simply by crying out: HELP!!-or as Martin Luther did, "I am yours, save me."

Not only calling out to Jesus, but also calling out to one another in the Family, it's the only way to journey forward! We cannot make it without each other! I am so thankful for every one of you-and have loved learning to lean on you more and more! May we together learn to cultivate faith in His goodness and love in every season of our lives! This season has been unique for me- in that it has been a time where the Lord has "blocked my way" (Hosea 2: 6) on every front-causing my heart to turn toward Him desiring to be awakened to greater love. I am convinced that He allows the least amount of pressure to produce the greatest amount of love in our hearts- and that looks different for us, since the One fashioning and forming our hearts knows us best. Please feel free to contact me anytime. I would love to hear more about your life-especially those of you where our paths don't cross as often! May the King receive the reward of His sufferings -ALL OF MY HEART & YOUR HEART-His delightful inheritance!

So the King will greatly desire your beauty; Because He is your Lord, worship Him, Psalm 45:11.


The Weight of Evangelism and Social Action | Religion and Society | A Church in Trouble - 2 Timothy 1 | 2006 - The Year of the Redeemed | Evangelism and Social Justice | A Happy Hangover? | Accept Your Place in God's Plan | The Reformation and Image Worship | HOME PAGE | CONTACT EDITOR

Angie Montag


Sharing Your Faith with a Buddhist, a book on evangelism by M. S. Thirumalai

Solitary Poet, Poems of Reflection by Stan Schmidt.

Sharing Your Faith with Hindus by M. S. Thirumalai.


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